Thursday, May 9, 2013


I thought our last first day of Kindergarten was bad.
Friday is the first Last Day of High School.
...and today I cant breathe....

For almost half of my life I been fully invested, staying at home, pouring the best {and worst} of me.... all of me into this young man who is, funny enough,  well, at this age they still remind me of a two year old.... strong willed and independent.... and still holding on to our hands when needed.

and I’m the one that needs to let go.
so he can learn to walk on his own all over again... as a man

how can I possibly do it?


I want my batman back.

I want my sweet perfect baby boy back that I can hold and snuggle with kisses
I want more baseball games
and silliness

and digging holes and
playing in the backyard
and chasing sisters that ends up with them screaming in terror

and more teenagers in the house than I know what to do with

with each new baby, more love entered our house 
love grown. love released.

1 box of tissues down..

just to hold on 
I want more time...