Thursday, May 9, 2013

I thought our last first day of Kindergarten was bad.
Friday is the first Last Day of High School.
...and today I cant breathe....

For almost half of my life I been fully invested, staying at home, pouring the best {and worst} of me.... all of me into this young man who is, funny enough,  well, at this age they still remind me of a two year old.... strong willed and independent.... and still holding on to our hands when needed.

and I’m the one that needs to let go.
so he can learn to walk on his own all over again... as a man

how can I possibly do it?

I want my batman back.

I want my sweet perfect baby boy back that I can hold and snuggle with kisses
I want more baseball games
and silliness

and digging holes and
playing in the backyard
and chasing sisters that ends up with them screaming in terror

and more teenagers in the house than I know what to do with

with each new baby, more love entered our house 
love grown. love released.

1 box of tissues down..

just to hold on 
I want more time...

Friday, February 22, 2013

Time out for scrapbooking…

I am part of one of the most wonderfully fun things to do in the middle of January February and March each year. It's funny it never starts in January but my excitements for it always starts right after the lull of the new year starts to kick in...

I have been a member of Club Scrap off and on on for about 10 years. It's a kit of the month club for scrap bookers with lots of beautiful papers, embellishments, stamp projects, and stamps... stencils and all kinds of goodies. The fact that I've been a member for so long really speaks to both it's quality and how much I have really loved the kits.

Each year around the time of the Super Bowl, Club Scrap comes up with an event called PSL- the Pro Scrapbookers League.  Everybody who wants to be a part signs up to be on scrapbooking teams, card-making teams, digital layout teams and then the fun begins. Each week of PSL the clubhouse comes up with a challenge and as you meet these challenges by making layouts and cards... your team gets points. You get points for each page, card, or layout you do.  It's a lot of fun and it stretches my creativity in ways I wouldn't normally think to try on my own.

This week in particular I just want to share because this page I made today is one of my most favorite pages that I've ever made.   I'm not exactly sure what it is in particular about the page: the colors, the layout, the design or page textures... it all just kind of came together and worked. I guess all the creative stars and planets were aligned LoL

It also helps that I enjoy each and every memory that is captured here...
Creative weekends to you!

Sunday, February 17, 2013

RE:Day0 - The first installment.

This is how Day0 started...

We went to church, went to lunch, came home, got 
back in the van {sans kids} and drove to Mr B's office.
In the lobby was a big, ugly cardboard box. 
 It was my first present.  

I opened it to find this:

then, he took me back to his conference room 
to watch a video by the skit guys called God's Chisel
You should watch it. 
 Go ahead and do that now... I'll wait....

Are you back?  Good.  

Oooooh boy!  I had no idea where this was going.  
Mr. B told me that my day was going to be about "perspectives".  
No idea. 
Now we left the office on our way to ?

isn't this beautiful!?!?

Perspectives..... the first one.....Atop a beautiful bridge 
He said he had a gift for me, but in order to receive the gift, 
I would have to throw my brick away....

...very tearfully i did it.  It really wasn't easy.
I knew it meant letting some things go, even
if I didn't quite know how to do that yet...

Here I go...
and what did I get?

I will tell you next time.  :0)
and i promise to not make anymore promises 
about blogging soon, or anything related to my blog.
I hate making promises I can't keep so I just won't do it anymore,

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloweenie!

Just poppin in to bring you a treat 
and wish you lots of fun tonight...

Be Safe!
Happy Harvest to You!

Linking Up to 
Inspiration Emporium

Saturday, October 27, 2012

RE:Day0 - Backing up....

This is where it gets really mushy.... deep and well, somewhat if you were looking for a quick answer - I'm sorry. 
What I got was truly priceless, but I have to admit.  It is not the best gift i've ever gotten.

 Let me back up.  And be real for a moment.  

You see, there are parts of my life, parts of my childhood, that are dark, hard places.
Things that for the most part have been too tough for me to deal with as a child... so I simply picked up those things, placed them in a "box" and have kept that box out of sight:  my sight, my family's sight, my friend's sight...  Out of sight/ out of mind, right?
But it just doesn't work that way.
Instead of being out of sight, this box has been a big, mean, angry, tusk-bearing, 'ready to wound at the glance' kind of elephant in the room all my life.  Occasionally I would have that boxed kicked over and things - emotions that I've never really defined or LOOKED at squarely in the eyes- would come spilling out.

These times of "spillage" were particularly rough for me,  and also for my family who needed a fully functioning mommy and wife... you know... pretty much 24/7, cause that's what mommys {and wives} do.  I would eventually get back up on my feet and be strong for a while... until the next kick of the box.

Until the Lord brought me to a place.
...of stepping out of things i've been involved in,
...of stepping back and resting a while,
...of stepping back and facing things head on.
a place SO SCARY.
and yet SO hopeful.  I'm still scared of being hopeful as you can see.
It's still a small-capped hopeful, but it is there.
...and this is my year.  
my year of healing nonetheless.
The year of me even if for only a moment.

And yes, the somewhat cheesy and redundant answer is that the best gift i've ever gotten was Mr B - the man who rocks my socks off. 

And next post I will tell you what he did.

And i promise not to be too long about it either.

Isaiah 40:31
"...but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Back into the Blogosphere...

Wow Bloggers.... I can't believe how many months it's been since I've posted!
Summer flew by so fast ... I miss it already.
Still, we are back into our regularly scheduled programming now, 
and i have so much to tell you.
It all started when one of my daughters friends was over and asked...
"So Mrs. B what was the number thing all about?"
Honestly I was shocked.  I didn't think anyone was remembering, and so with all the busy-ness that came with day 0,
...and then camps
...and preparing our home to have 10 guests for a week
...becoming a camp counselor unexpectedly
...and kiddo going to and winning nationals turning 18 turning sweet 16 and driving.....
*whew* just typing it. all added up to One hectic and AWESOME summer... and no blogging.

Mr B said the other day, "Our little guy came along and we've been in fourth gear ever since."
It's true.  One of these days I'm going to collapse exhausted and completely spent.  Yet, it will not have been in will be a full life...  =0)  Galatians says "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."  

There will be a time to crumplebucklesag, and slump... but it is not this day.  

{Yes, I'm a geek..}

So!  Day 0... 

How can I describe my beautiful day?  I remember sitting down to try to blog.... but to describe all the emotions moving through my heart... too much to take in , too much to put into words....I walked away not able to articulate all that had happened.

My gift wasn't diamonds
or rubies.

It wasn't a new car, or house,
or studio...{but I'm going to save that one for later!}

It wasn't even a trip to a tropical island....

just a trip to the river.
Yes, that's me.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

I'm Late! I'm Late!

I know.....

Mommyhood and Family have gotten in the way of blogging... GEESH!!

Packing 3 for camp, swim meets, day camp, birthday parties and coming home from a very special wonderful day :0) to find the house A MESS, and having 10 family members visiting in just a few short days  will do that to you.
Yes I said 10...
and we haven't had a discussion yet about where everyone is sleeping.... I'm avoiding it.
So is Mr B.

I want to sit down and tell you about my very special day "0".... but I just can't yet.  There's a pile in every room with my name on it.
BUT!  I don't want to wait any long to announce that
Kirsten Spicer is the winner of the give away!!!!!  
Congratulations  Kirsten!
PM me your address on Facebook and I'll get those goodies sent out ASAP

I'll Be BACK!!! in the meantime here is a picture taken on day "0"